Barack's Secret Space Initiative

Obama's Secret Space Initiative

The funny thing is that everybody tries to make a parody of our current presidential situation, and it isn't really that funny at all.  In fact, the situation is more dire now than it has ever been before.  We are in need of some real hope and change, not the phony baloney type of change that Barack Obama has promised and has yet to deliver on.  He is constantly the target of jokes and wisecracks, which on the surface may seem like a funny thing, but the truth of the matter is that when the shit hits the fan, the comedy starts to flow.  This is probably because it is easier to laugh to clear tensions, but the fact of the matter is that it is not okay for Barack Obama to continue to lie to the American people and moreover the people of the world.  If only there was a way that we could just teleport ourselves to a far away place, perhaps another planet...  Oh, wait... the government has already perfected this art.  Just another one of Barack Obama's lies and cover ups. 

NASA takes part in these coverups.  They do their part in making the American people think that we are far less progressed than what we really are.  The fact is that maybe in our own sad little state of existence we wouldn't be that advanced.  However, a more recent than distant space probe that occurred within the last couple of years has provided proof of sustained alien life.  Contact has been developed with an ancient race of Extraterrestrial life.  The program to achieve such success was developed decades ago, but more recently has come to full fruition.  Barack Obama has remained in full knowledge and control over this program,however, denying the fact and existence of any such breakthroughs. 

However, there is always a whistle blower.  In this case, his name is Andrew Chaikin.  He is an Ex-CIA operative who was Barack Obama's roommate during an extended stay project deep in the confines of NASA headquarters.  According to Andrew, Barack Obama was there when the first signs of contact with the lifeform was made.  Becoming president solidified the programs goals, by giving Obama chief executive control over the Environmental Protection Agency.  During the last four years Obama has been spending money fervently on reaching "environmental goals" with the EPA's assistance.  Secretly, Obama has since been progressively fortifying the ozone layer and other spacial components to make travel between the two races easier.  His project has been a complete success and technological advances have been as a result of a program that obtains technology from the life form, which is far more advanced than we could have ever hoped to be.  Last year $1M was spent on research to develop meals for astronauts... just in case we were able to send them abroad in space.  For real??  "In case."  I think not. 

Our probe and investigation into the matter has led us to an astonishing find.  We developed a lead when former CIA agent and Obama co-operative Andrew Chaikin told us that the government have obtained teleportation technology.  He told us that he used it at least 40 times, teleporting from New Jersey to Arizona.  To do so, Andrew told us that he was provided with an item that his CIA director said would transport him to anywhere he needed to go.  It was charged with atomic energy from an advanced technological network that the department had inherited from a foreign race of "people."

During our investigation into the item, we were able to determine that the piece is much more than Andrew's department head told him it was.  The item, which was a normal everyday-looking piece of men's jewelry, is a piece that has been carefully crafted in conjunction with the foreign race's intelligence agency.  The item has been molecularly manipulated to contain an energy called Molecular Actuation.  By wearing this piece the energy is transferred into the molecules that make-up your own body.  Molecular Actuation is an advanced energy that will give you full range to travel along the space-time continuum.  It does this using a bio-manipulation that will infuse your own body with alien DNA.  Using the DNA you will gain the knowledge to their means of travel, which consists of molecular teleportation.  You will be able to use the advanced energies to travel to any point on the Space/Time Axis; this means that you will be able to travel into the past and present to any point which space and time intersect.... so basically anywhere.  This also means that you will be able to teleport to any point of existence spiritual, astral, or physical.  You will gain the astral, ancient knowledge of a race of ancient extraterrestrials that will also include stellar and cosmological magic!

 

I would like to add this this ring is a size 11 man's ring done in Sterling Silver!! 

 

Barack's Secret Space Initiative
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  • Item #: 101112024
Price $800.00
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