DAME ALICE'S SECRET WORLD OF SORCERY AND SEX

The Irish are some of my favorite people.  The are an unruly, quirky bunch.  They are the first to start a fight, but they are also the first to forgive.  They have some of the meanest tempers, but as long as you leave them alone and you don't cross them, you will be just fine.  They are actually more laid back than you think.  This is why for the longest time, when every other country in Europe was routinely trying people for witchcraft, the Irish people were like, "Whatever." However, at the stake of being excommunicated from the church, the Irish eventually started their own series of witch hunts.  For better or for worse, the first tried witch in Ireland was one Dame Alice Kyteler

Who was she?  She was a wealthy moneylender and her husbands had a nasty little habit of leaving everything to her when they died.  She ran an underground, secret society of witches, warlocks and sorcerers.  This all came to light when one of her latest ailing husbands was about to sign a will, leaving all of his worldly possessions to yours truly.  His children smelled a rat and they headed their own investigation.  The results were astonishing; and quite frankly I'm surprised they lived to tell the authorities, but they did.  In 1324, Dame Alice would go on trial for, not only for heading a ring of supernatural sorcerers, but also for having relations with an incubus.  The courts attempted to arrest Dame Alice, but her network of allies helped her disappear.  She is said to have escaped to England, where she lived an extremely lavish lifestyle for the rest of her mortal days. 

Well, I use mortal as a very loose term, or should I say that is how the story goes?  Once she escaped the clutches of the Irish courts who were after her, she rescinded into the wilderness of England.  It was hear that she set up a witching colony that was cloaked by the magic the gained through having relations with the incubus.  The time she was tried was not the first and was not the last time she would have these types of relationship.  Dame Alice was quite fond of sex, so she had these romps with the Incubae, more times than most mortals had sex with other mortals.  Killing off her husbands was the way she made her living, she never really married for love, nor sex.  She was of an immortal type of sex-fiend.  When she first began dabbling in magic arts at the young age of 15 was when summoned her first incubus.  It was then that she lost her virginity to the incubus she had summoned.  She said that the goody two shoes life just wasn't befitting for her.  She wanted excitement and excitement she got.  She noticed that when she had sex with an incubus she would gain its powers.  She also noticed that each incubus had a different power.  Thus, she would summon an incubus and ask the entity what type of powers it had and if she was interested they'd bang away.  If not, she'd send them back and someone a new one.  This is how she gained the nickname "Ask Me Alice" in the supernatural circles.  Either way, she amassed quite some power in this way, and was running a ring of sorcery in Ireland until she was chased from there and found refuge in the English wilderness.

During an investigation in England was the first time that we ever experience Dame Alice.  She is a robust woman, with frizzy read hair, and harsh accent to understand if you wish to communicate with her.  It's okay, because we communicated with her telekinesis, as she has mastered that concept and has apparently for years communicated this way.  The shield to her encampment does no use on us and we were astonished to see that her establishment consists of about 12 or 14 small cottages, in which contemporaries of the trade live.  They are of all different ages, gender, ethnicity, and culture.  While we visited we encountered one Kabbalist Hebrew Boy, an Egyptian Priestess, a Greek Sorcerer, and a Chinese Mystic.  In a way, it's kind of like a mini-Hogwarts, but for real life.  Either way, Dame Alice never did die.  She transformed herself into a witch known as an "Ageless One".  We have profiled these types of witches before, when Lindy and Deedee met one in New York.  The remain in their body until a very old age, when they are reborn again like a Phoenix.  Dame Alice is on her 6th life cycle already, and has changed bodies an according number of times.  However, her magic has become timeless and she keeps returning to her secret cult society in the hills of England and probably will for eternity. 

While we were there, she was gracious enough to provide us with an item that she has enchanted herself.  She stressed that it is important to note that her magic is not dark and evil.  Rather, it is dual in nature because she does not agree with putting limitations on free form magic.  According to Dame Alice, there is not such thing as good and evil, it is all in the eye of interpreter.  She claims her husbands that she killed for money were evil and had it coming to them.  She also claims that sleeping with the Incubus doesn't make you evil.  The Incubus is the spawn of Satan and thus holds all of his knowledge.  The knowledge of Satan was once the knowledge of God, thus you can imagine how powerful this knowledge must be.  This is why she slept with the Incubae-- not to gain dark powers, but power in general that are, once again, free flowing and you can use them however you want.  These are the types of powers that are in this item.  They will allow you to gain anything that you want. 

This piece allows you to attract riches to your life, so that way you can maintain your Independence by amassing huge amounts of wealth.  It will help you read through everyone's fake smiles and empty promises to find true love, if you want it.  It will allow you to practice an unlimited knowledge of magical spells and incantations.  Lastly, it will allow you to gain the best sex of your life-- whether it is with an incubus or a human, this piece will allow you to gain the ability to have astral sex with astral orgasms.  It is a sex flow that is rarely gifted to the mortals and is usually used by the likes of gods and goddesses to birth the immortal or the holy. However, you will get to experience this sex first hand.  Just remember, if you summon an incubus for this sex, or if you are man you can summon a succubus, you will not only get this amazing astral sex, but you will also get to grow your powers, magic, and knowledge into a form that can never be taken away from you!  I know you're going to love this piece, it encompasses everything exciting about being a witch or a warlock.  It is one of the most powerful witchery pieces we have offered in some time.  We only one, though and once it is gone, it's gone!

DAME ALICE'S SECRET WORLD OF SORCERY AND SEX
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  • Item #: 03111504
Price $269.00
Availability Out-of-Stock