Derrick, What a Sexy Little Devil

Derrick, What a Sexy Little Devil
This one is strictly for the ladies.  Sorry fellas, but sometimes, the ladies need their own.  Allow me to introduce you to Derrick.  Derrick is an original 18th Century Incubus, crafted in the Underworld, who resurfaced to Earth, because he was sick and tired of the bullshit that was going on down there.  He just wants to party and have a good time and that is exactly what he intends to do.
His original name is something like Beth-El Shirbe'el or something like that, but he changed his name to Derrick when he came to our realm, because he didn't really like his name anyway.  Also, because it's much less awkward for the ladies to say Derrick in the sack than some other, defunct, demonized name.
Anyway, if you haven't figured it out by now, Derrick is an extremely sexually active vampire.  Ladies, this means that if you are daring enough to take part in his sexual encounters, I have a piece that holds his spiritual essence and will deliver Derrick to you.  Once he is with you, he is yours and will perform the most gratifying sexual favors that you have ever experience.  If you are single this piece is perfect for those nights that are rather lonely.  If you are married, think of it as extra-marital pleasure, without an extra-marital affair.  It's not really cheating, because he's not really human. 
Derrick will come to you, assuming the perfect shape of the perfect man that you have always dreamed of.  He will remain harder longer.  He will go deeper and stronger than anybody that you've ever had before.  He will help you max out on the climax and the best part is that he will not stop until you are finished.  Feel free to have him inside of you all night long.
Now, I know I said that this piece is strictly for the ladies, but let me just amend that statement a  little bit.  This is for the ladies and the ladies at heart.  Derrick is a freak, and he has no boundaries and zero sexual preference. That means that if you are a homosexual, this piece would be perfect for you as well.   Derrick will also come to you, assuming the perfect position, as he is completely versatile and open to any suggestions.
To activate this piece, you must rub it all over your body, paying particular detail to the places that you want Derrick to visit the most.  His spirit will be summoned and before you know it, you will be on your way to a spiritual and sexual Nirvana, that I think it is safe to say you've never felt before. 
I only know, because I've tested this piece. I can tell you that it is 100% authentic and 100% real and 100% legitimate.  I was going to keep this piece for myself.  Unfortunately, DeeDee said I wasn't allowed to, so I extended the testing period, you know, to “make sure it worked.”  Sure enough it works like a champ every single time.  I don't think I've been the same since.  
He will also give you the option to be changed into a vampire, if you desire this type of exchange.  If you decide you want to be turned, you will, of course, inherit all of his other world powers, magical abilities, and mystical attributes.  You will gain the ability to seek out and enter other realms as well as being able to project your spirit into t heightened state of awareness and spirituality.  You and Derrick can hammer out the details later.  For now, If you decide to make Derrick yours, you will receive the piece that you see here. 
Derrick, What a Sexy Little Devil
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  • Item #: 08021304
Price $199.69
Availability Not Available