Genesis 101: What really happened

Genesis 101: What really happened

These are pieces that I obtained from Emir, our beast from the Middle East. Actually, he is one of our correspondents from the Middle East, and he has very graciously gave us these pieces to make available to you on behalf of Haunted Curiosities. Emir is serious in his work, so you can rest assured that the piece you get will work in its fullest capacity--- it isn’t junk. Plus, we’ve tested it out, too. We’ve got his back on this one and these pieces are mystical and will do what we are about to tell you they do.

Now, as the story goes in the beginning was God and God was good and all that stuff. Long story short, on the sixth day, God created Adam and Eve. On the seventh he cracked open a cold one and took a breather. What the majority of humanity does not know is that Adam and Eve weren’t simply two people. These two people were symbolic of an entire civilization the he had created. The civilization consisted of two types of beings Adam, or male beings, and Eve, or female beings. When you put these two names together it is easy to distinguish that God didn’t merely create two beings, but the LIFE, or livelihood, of the world, EARTH. Then the serpent, which most commonly signifies deceit and vindictiveness, tempted the women to eat of the forbidden fruit. It is interesting to note that the serpent also symbolizes guardianship and wisdom. This serpent knew what he was doing, and he knew it very well. DUH! He was the incarnate manifestation of Lucifer, who slithered up from the depths of hell on his belly to convince women to partake of the evil fruit, which is a metaphor for practicing sexual impurity. Now, the women, obviously compelled by their new sense of urgent desire, convinced the men to go along with their sexual impurity. So, their behavior went on this way, with Adam and Eve seeking pleasure with whomever they desired.

Boy, this really grinded Gods gears. Sex was meant to be a holy endeavor. One to be used for the glory of Him, because He invented it. Well, he also gave men the exclusive ability to stand and pee, but you don’t see people going around pissing on God, do you? To make a long story short God was gnashing his teeth in annoyance with his own creation, so he kicked them out of his holy garden, Eden and exiled them to a land less perfect, where they would have to work for what they wanted.

HEY STEVE COULD YOU TOUCH ON ORGASMS PLEASE!!! wHAT ABOUT THOSE? lOVE TO HEAR YOUR THOUGHTS!

Distraught, because their loving majestic leader, who ironically was all about giving second chances, had just booted them out, the people searched fervently for someone to guide them through their sorrow-- a voice in the dark if you will. Enter serpent. This time, the serpent, no longer in need of slithering about incognito, was transformed into a giant, majestic, fire-breathing dragon. The people were in fantastic awe of this creature, for they had seen anything like this before. They began worshipping him, turning to him for advice and deistic issues as they arose.

To the serpent-turned-dragon this was perfect. The people were sick of God, after all He had betrayed them. So Lucifer bestowed a false sense of pity upon these folks, making him the answer-- the silver lining to the cloud. He lead the people to ways that, in the eyes of God, were perverse and corrupt. The people didn’t care what God thought, because he had abandoned them. So the people carried on this way in their folly, becoming Satan’s army that he eventually planned to use to overthrow the Lord’s throne.

Satan bestowed upon the people, a source of magic. A source of magic that had been originated from bottomless pits of Hell and was nearly identical to the powers exhibited by Jehovah, save that it couldn’t be used for creation and could never overrule the power of God. So, he disperse his magical powers among the people of the land, commissioning a small group of them to oversee the utilization of the powers.

This group of elites were allowed to partake in the most coveted power of all-- drinking from the Serpent Grail. The Serpent Grail was a container filled with the blood and venom of the serpents and enchanted with spells and magic by Satan himself. Whomever partakes of the beverage is granted all the powers of the underworld, which aren’t necessarily evil, they just stem from a different realm than Heaven. They are given immorality and spiritual preservation. It was in this was that Lucifer set up the first dynastic rulers of the Underworld, making the people his constituents, until Abraham came along and started winning people over to God’s side again.

Now, I am actually in possession of piece that hold the powers of this secret society, that still actually exists today in the form of a fraternity of clandestine templars that are so top-secret I’m not even sure what it’s name is. However, Emir was somehow able to provide these pieces to me and here is the scoop on them.

These pieces hold the powers of both Heaven and the Underworld. You will allowed to gain entry from either realm. When you get to the realm you will able to seek out the wisdom and advice of holiest of holy forms of spirits, beings, and entities. You will be able to conjure the spirits from these realms for use in day-to-day life, or could even invite one over for dinner to impress a friend. You will be give the knowledge of magic, both dark and light, white and black. This piece is very powerful and it is up to you how you will use it. Be forewarned, though, that we do not condone the use of black magic, but the knowledge of it is useful in casting white magic protection and shielding methods. Satan is a scoundrel by nature, he can’t help it, and if he has a chance to exploit you, he will. That is why we think it’s not cool to tamper with the dark stuff. Anyway, the pieces are available immediately and you will receive one of the ones you see above. Bonne Magie!!

These pieces will also transport you to the depth of the begining of the luciferian time where you can see what went on but no one can see you. This you must choose to do.
Genesis 101:  What really happened
Click To Enlarge
  • Item #: 91610014
Price $150.00
Availability Out-of-Stock