Stuff They Didn't Know We Know

It has occurred to me that even the people who think that they are so smart, really don't know anything.  I'm not saying that I'm a genius or anything.  However, it really just baffles me when I see news headlines that read, "What the Government Really Doesn't Want You to Know."  Okay, so some of these headlines may make valid points, but the media will do anything to scrape and scrimp average news into regular stories.  Oh, boy... the government wants to use Obamacare to steal all your money.  Oh, boy... politicians are using your money to sponsor booze and cocaine fueled parties.  Sometimes they even add in rumors of some random doctor who is giving out free prescriptions for Adderall.  I mean, come on-- how is this any different than what we've all already known has been going on for years.  It's really not, but basic reporters will do anything to turn a basic story into a something sentimental to pull on the heart strings of America.  You want something real?  Here's something real.  Keep on reading, but only if you think you can handle the truth, because that's what you're going to get. 

So, when I was reading the other day I came across a headline that said something about the government developing an implantable hard drive that can be shoved into the brains of the FBI, CIA, DHS, or any of their other groups of assassins.  Then, I got to thinking, "What did they read files form the 1840s or something?!" This has been going on forever, they need to catch up.  Then, I remembered that I have these items to list.  They have been kept in a drawer in one of my many filing cabinets at the office, because I was debating on whether or not I should offer these items up for sale, just due to the amount of raw power that they bring the individual who uses them.  It's the type of item that we usually reserve for the most powerful of our customers, but hey-- everyone deserves to know the truth. 

In and underground base, somewhere it Utah, in a very secret place that hasn't drawn speculation and infamy such as Area 51 or Roswell, New Mexico, the government has been constructing a super computer.  This computer is something very similar to machines that you can see on movies such as Eagle Eye or the Matrix, except it is reality and it has existed since before microwaves were stuffed into holes in the wall and you couldn't stand next to them without fearing that you were going to turn into a purple monster.  This computer is a storehouse of information and the technological secrets necessary for the build were obtained through some sort of trade with an alien race that involved giving them humans for sacrificial rituals on their home planet.  Creepy, right?  Either way, with this computer you don't even need implantable hard drive at all.  Rather, the machine fabricates it own transponder pieces that can then be given out to people whom the government feels can be entrusted with the information that is held within the machine.  The machine is kept up by human cyborgs who are half-machine-half-man and if I'm being totally honest, they're pretty cool looking.  It was through a secret source at the Pentagon that we got these items, you know the one who always gives us stuff, but we reveal his identity?  Yeah, that one.  These pieces are incredible! 

Each piece that you see listed has been specifically fabricated by the super computer in Utah.  They have been designed to look like your everyday, normal type of thing, except they are really fully function transponder pieces of the super computer.  Each piece contains a tiny microscopic chip that will allow your brain to enter and search the super computer.  This will give you the ability to give you anything you've ever wanted, because the super computer holds all knowledge and every type of magic imaginable.  When wearing your piece, you can close your eyes and imagine whatever you want.  Your piece will then open up a holographic index that you will be able to see on the forefront of your brain.  It's like if you close your eyes and try watching yourself count sheep at night, except it will be an index of powers.  Imagine which one you want and it fill float around in the forefront of your brain.  The secret knowledge associated with your power will also come to the forefront of your brain and the power that you select will given to you via your piece.  You can literally select any power that you want because this machine has been designed to hold all knowledge, not just some, not just most.  It's all or nothing, and at this point all.   That way, whatever power you imagine, you will be able to acquire!   

So... do we really need implantable hard drives?  Definitely not!  But one of these pieces will change your life!  I guarantee it! 

 

We have only listed one of these, but if you see it is out of stock and you would like one-- let us know!  We have more!

Stuff They Didn't Know We Know
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  • Item #: 471506
Price $144.44
Availability Out-of-Stock